ABC REPORT CARD!

The alphabet network has all sorts of buzz this season thanks to the two breakout hits “Lost” and “Desperate Housewives.” But considering ABC has been in the shitter for as long as anyone can remember, it’s about time they have something to brag about. In any case, here’s how they stack up as far as I’m concerned:
Desperate Housewives: Sure, it’s fun, it’s kitschy, and it’s entertaining, but I don’t find it terribly addicting. I’m actually surprised at how well this show is doing. I bet NBC is too – they passed on the pilot and are probably kicking themselves for it. The cast sure is easy on the eyes, and the so called mysteries in the neighborhood keep this a fun prime time soap, but again, for this viewer, if I miss an episode I don’t lose any sleep. In fact, with FOX’s “My Big Fat Obxoxious Boss” opposite, I might be done with the housewives all together.
Boston Legal: I never watched “The Practice,” but I really enjoyed this spin off. I don’t even know how it was spun off, but I also don’t care. So there’s that. James Spader’s character Alan Shore is the most enjoyable asshole on television. And Spader plays it flawlessly. William Shatner as Denny Crane is a hoot, and Monica Potter as Lori Colson is, well she’s pretty hot. This show has just the right mix of funny, courtroom drama, and Monica Potter.
Complete Savages: This new TGIF sitcom is produced by Mel Gibson, which we all know means… well absolutely nothing. I have watched a couple of episodes, and while it’s not the best sitcom on TV, it’s still got enough punch to mildly amuse me. So that’s good. Keith Carradine is what makes this show stick, because the kids are mostly just sitcom stereotypes. But the real problem is that there are just too damn many of them. Kids that is. Keith’s Nick Savage has five sons. Mostly of the dim witted variety. Except for the token awkward nerd son, of course. So, anyway, there are some good jokes, and if there’s nothing going on on a Friday night, it’s worth watching.
Lost: TAG already reviewed this show, but it’s worth repeating how good this show is. I mean, it’s not like going to change lives, but you know, it’s a good show. I was worried that it would get boring watching these people stuck on an island, but so far they have kept it interesting, suspenseful, and creative. They haven’t overdone the “monster” thing, and that’s good. I enjoy learning about these characters via flashbacks, so we get a glimpse as to who these people are. Or were. It’s one of the few shows this season I make sure not to miss.
Rodney: I have only seen two episodes of this delightful new sitcom, but it shows a lot of promise. Rodney has some solid jokes, and a solid supporting cast. It reminds me of “Roseanne” in a way. Maybe it’s just that both shows are named after a person whose name starts with an “R.” But the big problem with the show is that it’s on ABC's dreadful Tuesday night lineup. “My Wife & Kids” and “According To Jim” are among two of the worst sitcoms on TV. So that makes Rodney a breath of fresh air.
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition: I can’t get why anybody finds these home shows riveting, but obviously there are quite a few people who like this stuff because it’s doing pretty solid in the ratings. I’ve never seen an episode, but I still feel qualified to comment. The show is a success because they pull at the heart strings of the viewers, but how long can that trick work? My double wide is a shit hole, but I know aint nobody gonna come fix this place up, because I’m not blind, or my place wasn’t ruined by a hurricane. So, therefore I have no reason to watch this show.
That’s all the new shows on ABC that I’ve been able to check out. So based on my opinions of the new ABC shows – I give the network a B. Not too shabby. It’s the first time in quite a while that I am enjoying this many ABC shows.
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