It's been a pretty damn long time since we rolled out a new "Baker's Dozen" here at TVadviceguy, but the wait is over! This time we have T.A.G.'d Daily Variety Chief TV Critic & columnist Brian Lowry! Brian made time from his busy schedule of watching TV to answer our dopy questions. And he answered them promptly, too. So, enjoy the "Baker's Dozen!"
1) I think we need to start with the obvious, and most important, question: How does one get into the business of watching TV for a living?
Like any critic, I guess it requires the chutzpah to assume that your
opinion will be of interest to anyone. In my case, becoming a full-time
critic followed being a reporter covering TV for quite awhile. The smartass
answer, I suppose, is "You find someone willing to hire you."
2) You're the "Chief TV Critic" for Daily Variety. So does that mean you get
to designate the especially crappy shows for others to review?
No, I actually don't assign reviews, though I do go through and pick and
choose what I plan to review. That said, I often take the crappy-looking
stuff because I feel obligated to watch it anyway, so why make two people
suffer?
3) The networks just recently announced their new lineups for the 2005-2006
season. Since you are a top industry insider, who was able to see the
presentation, give us your report card grade for each network, and why you
gave it that grade:
OK, this is strictly for the presentations, since I haven't watched all the
shows and don't think it's fair to judge them based on a two-minute cutdown.
ABC: B+. Entertaining and swift, with a strategy that seemed to make sense
and shows that at least look like they fit the network's profile.
CBS: B. Pretty good-looking development, a little too much huffing and
puffing about their success and how much NBC is in the toilet.
FOX: C. Very hit-miss development and, as usual, a lot of noise.
NBC: C. Hard to see that they're really reacting in a significant way to
their ratings problems, though a few of the shows exhibited promise, which
might just be a tribute to their promo guys.
UPN: I'll recuse myself on them, since my ex-wife works there, but
"Everybody Hates Chris" did look pretty damn funny.
WB: C-. Very staged feel to the presentation, and again, hit-miss
development.
Brian Lowry's column, as seen on Variety.com
4) Besides Tvadviceguy, what other TV critics do you admire/respect? Or do
they all suck?
Well, I was always a big Howard Rosenberg fan, and I enjoy reading Tom
Shales though our taste is quite different. Tim Goodman at the San Francisco
Chronicle, Matt Roush at TV Guide and Robert Bianco at USA Today are all
terrific, as is Paul Brownfield at the LA Times. And although she's a
columnist and not a critic, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Lisa de Moraes
at the Washington Post.
There are actually other critics I admire. It's too bad most of them hate
me.
5) Do you realize that it costs $299 to subscribe to Daily Variety? That's
absurd, right?
I dunno, my UCLA football tickets cost more than that, and they constantly
disappoint me. I'd say Variety is a great value, especially because I'm
mortgaged up to my ass and need this job.
The most expensive magazine subscription. Ever.
6) So it's said that every critic is just a frustrated (fill the blank).
What is it in your case? Writer? Producer? Network Exec?
NBA point guard. Never been interested in working on the other side of the fence. I believe it's because I'm allergic to big money.
7) Have you ever been bribed by any network weasels to give a show a good
review?
Bribed outright? No. Stroked, cajoled and flattered? Sure.
8) “Let's play the T.A.G. "Either/Or" game. Which do you prefer?
Letterman or Leno:
Letterman, mostly because I grew up with him. But I don't
mind Leno.
"Stacked" or "The Bad Girls Guide":
Haven't seen the latter, but having seen
"Stacked," the latter.
"Law & Order: CI" or "Law & Order: SVU" or just "Law & Order":
"SVU."
"CSI: Miami" or "CSI: NY" or just "CSI":
Honestly, I've never been able to
get into any of them, but I like "Miami" best because everyone looks sweaty.
Fred Silverman or Brandon Tartikoff:
Always been very fond of both. I harbor
a special fondness for Brandon only because he once swore on a stack of
Bibles never to order another Geraldo Rivera special.
"Diff'rent Strokes" or "Webster":
Frankly, I could never stand either of
them.
Carina Chocano or Barry Garron:
Wait a minute, Carina's a film critic these
days, I'm punting on that one.
"Diagnosis Murder" or "Jake & The Fatman":
"Jake." It's protagonist and I
share a fondness for carbs.
9) Have you ever written an article or review that pissed an actor or some
big shot industry person off? If so, do tell.
All the time. My very first review for Variety in the 1980s prompted a
nasty call from Robert Wagner (it was a remake of "Suspicion," I think). I
don't think Mark Burnett's too keen on me these days. Pissing people off
goes with the territory. Usually if you're fair they can handle it.
10) Growing up, did you watch an obscene amount of television? And what
were your favorite shows?
Obscene? Pretty close. And I was all over the map
- "All in the Family," "Bonanza," "Kung Fu," "The Rifleman," "The Twilight
Zone," "Dick Van Dyke" and "Honeymooners" reruns, "Little Rascals" shorts,
you name it. And yes, I wear glasses.
11) What was the best TV series in television history? And which TV series
never should have graced the airwaves?
Geez, that's tough. The latter is a very, very long list, though I'd
probably have to say "Big Brother," just because it's the apex (or nadir) of
the "People as rats in a maze" concepts. Best EVER, huh? Hard to top "MASH,"
but I'd probably have to go with "The Twilight Zone" just because it's so
unbelievably influential.
12) If you could be adopted by any TV family (past or present), who would it be?
I'd like to be gardener for Eva Longoria's character on "Desperate Housewives." That's probably self-explanatory.
13) You used to write for the L.A. Times, but when you did not inherit
Pulitzer Prize winning critic Howard Rosenberg's spot, you left and returned
to Variety. Do you have to approach your work any different working for a
trade magazine versus a newspaper?
Well, for starters, I'd be remiss if I didn't say that Variety is a newspaper, and I think those lines have blurred considerably. But to answer the question, I was afraid it might be different, but no, not really. If
anything, being back at Variety has been liberating, since you can assume a
higher level of knowledge among readers. I always used to joke that when you
were working on "A" section stories for the Times, you had to include a line
that said, "Television, a box that emits pictures and sound," because they
were afraid people wouldn't understand otherwise.
Thanks for reminding me, by the way. And if anyone actually reads this, I
apologize for every word of it.
Thanks again to Brian for answering the "Baker's Dozen" here at TVadviceguy! Make sure to read his reviews and articles in the Daily Variety and on www.variety.com, even if it means taking a second mortgage on the house to pay for the subscription.
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