2) Growing up, how many hours of television would you say you would average per week, and what were your favorite shows?
I watched WAY too much TV growing up, and mostly really crappy shows like "What's Happening!!" and "Welcome Back, Kotter." Except back then I thought they were hilarious, especially when Re-Run got caught trying to bootleg the Doobie Brothers concert. Priceless.

3) You were on “The View” this January, are those chicks as irritating in person as they are on TV?
The big question is...what the hell are you doing watching "The View"?!? I actually barely talked to those ladies before or after I was on. A coworker said Star Jones was looking at me like I was slathered in butter...whatever that means.

4) Rate the following shows on a scale of 1-10. 10 being pure genius, and 1 being “Listen Up.” (Feel free to add comments on why you gave it the number):
- “According to Jim”
1: Jim Belushi-enough said.

- “Survivor: Paula Abdul”
8: Much better than Vanuatu. Plus, I love the way they are basically letting the contestants kill each other in the challenges.

- “Veronica Mars”
7: It's hard to make a good teen show, although when I first heard the title, I thought it was about astronauts or something.

- “Jack Bobby”
5: Liked it at first, but quickly tired of all the flash-forwards. Plus, could Christine Lahti's character be any less likable?

- “Still Standing”
3: It's basically "According to Jim" without the Jim-which is worth two extra points.

- “The Office (America)”
7: Not unlike Spinal Tap, the U.K. version goes to 11, but I'm actually amazed that this new version DOESN'T completely suck.

- “House”
5: It's a solid show--I'm just not personally into medical dramas. Hospitals scare and confuse me, and I don't really care to visit them either in person or on TV.

- “Joey”
3: My dirty little secret? I never liked Friends, so this certainly wasn't going to win me over. It's serviceable, I suppose.

- “Listen Up”
3: I grew up in D.C. reading the real Kornheiser and Wilbon. This is a pale impersonation. I would say poor Jason Alexander, but then again, he's rich and I'm not. So poor me.

5) A year or two ago your colleague Joel Stein had a pilot developed about his life. Have you considered pitching a sitcom about your life, too?
I would consider pitching a show about my life-IF IT WEREN"T SO DAMN BORING!!! Okay, here's my pitch-skinny punk kid sells out, works for a huge corporation (AOL Time Warner), gets married, has two kids, moves to Jersey. How's that for excitement?!? The craziest thing I do in my life is leave the toilet seat up.

6) You have been featured on some of those VH1 shows where you comment on various pop culture topics. Has your exposure helped you with the ladies?
Well, it hasn't helped with my marriage, having me talk on national television about other women I had crushes on. I think she was particularly disturbed when I also admitted to finding Duran Duran hot.

7) Have any of your articles, reviews, or comments ever upset any celebrities?
My guess is that Ken Wahl won't be inviting me to any parties soon. And before we started hosting "Survivor: Live," Janna Morasca sent me an email telling me she had kept a scrapbook of all the mean things I wrote about her when she was on "Survivor: Amazon." Whoooops! She's actually a very good sport about the whole thing, which I suppose it what happens when you win a million dollars.

8) What kind of jobs did you have before you became a journalist?
Let's see, I bused tables as a teenager, and a large Spanish man tied me up and threw me in with the dumpsters. That kind of sucked. Delivered pizzas. And then worked for four years at Caroline Records, which was a punk label when I started and an electronic one when I left. (Not my fault.)

9) Television is cyclical. Right now we’re still in a heavy “Reality” show storm. Do you see the return of the sitcom anywhere in the near future?
I never thought reality would take over TV or completely disappear, like everyone was predicting. I always figured it would just sort of settle into the TV landscape as another genre, which is sort of what's happened. (Hey, right for once!) I don't think sitcoms will totally vanish. Hopefully, they will continue to morph into interesting shows like "Scrubs" and "Arrested Development." You know, interesting shows that nobody watches.

10) You host an Internet show that airs on CBS.com called “Survivor Live.” How’s that going, and how many people actually “tune in” to watch that?
Well, let's see...there's my father, my mother...oh wait, she doesn't even have a computer-never mind. Just my father. And Ethan Zohn.

11) What’s the best show that no one is watching? And what’s the worst show that too many people are watching?
Best: Well, no one watched "The Will" and it was canned after only one episode, but I thought it was freakin' genius. Worst: Two words: "Yes, Dear."

12) Do you secretly miss writing the “What to Watch” column in Entertainment Weekly? Because we sure do.
I missed it even before I stopped doing it. (Does that make sense?) But, yes, I knew I would miss it, but figured I would spare readers before they suffered from severe Dalton exhaustion. Plus, how many times can you write about JAG without blowing your brains out?

13) If you could be adopted by one TV family (past or present), who would it be?
The Jeffersons-just so George could address me as "honkey" all day.