The WB has launched the newest “American Idol” rip-off with “The Starlet.” The show starts by introducing us to the 10 contestants who will be fighting for the title of “The Starlet.” Well I guess it’s more than just a silly title they’re fighting over – they’re battling to win, “a career-launching role on The WB's hit drama One Tree Hill, a one-year management contract with 3 Arts Entertainment and an overall talent deal with The WB.”
Annnnyway, the 10 gals settle into their house that we’re told Marilyn Monroe used to sleep in. But then again, where didn’t she sleep? The contestants are soon given their first assignment: They get to read two lines from the “hit movie The Bodyguard.” Yep, these aspiring actresses get to jump right into some serious dialogue. They get to recite the same words as spoken by multiple Grammy Award winner and one time drug addict Whitney Houston!
The host of the show, Katie Wagner (of her dad being Robert Wagner fame), introduces the panel of judges: Actress Vivica A. Fox (of Booty Call fame), Casting Agent Joseph Middleton (of making people famous fame), and screen legend Faye Dunaway (of Dunston Checks In fame). There’s a room filled with 10 very attractive aspiring actresses and all I could think to myself was Katie Wagner and Faye Dunaway must have gotten a two-for-one special from the good folks at “The Swan.” Those two ladies faces are pulled tighter than a snare drum.
Later in the show, the contestants got to make complete asses out of themselves doing exercises with some so-called acclaimed Acting Teacher. This lady looked like she had just stuck a butter knife in the toaster. But in any case, I was actually uncomfortable watching these actresses roar like a lion and jump around like a chimpanzee. Maybe that stuff actually helps you become a better actress. Or maybe it just makes you look like a total buffoon. Who knows?
Finally, the young ladies got to read some lines for their “Screen Test.” It was a riveting scene from “Smallville” and they got to read the part with an actor from “7th Heaven.” That made no sense at all, but it looks like the WB is going to cross promote the hell out of their shows. Just in this first episode they’ve mentioned “One Tree Hill,” “Smallville,” and “7th Heaven.” Yikes. At this rate they’ll be doing a bit with the Blue Collar guys in no time.
So after watching all the performances, the judges kicked out the first two gals and we were let in on the dismissal phrase, “Don’t Call Us, We’ll Call You.” On a catchphrase scale 1-10, that’s about a 4. It’s too long, and Faye says it too slowly.
I’m not sure if I will have the patience, or interest, in watching this show for the whole run, but I will give it another go. I like the judges I must say. They cut to the chase, and even when they are ripping one of the girls, they at least do it somewhat constructively.
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