John Stamos, in his never ending quest to drop his Uncle Jesse image, stars in the new ABC comedy “Jake in Progress.” Stamos plays Jake Phillips, a New York publicist to the stars and quintessential ladies man. He’s on a mission to find the perfect lady to settle down with. I was on a mission too: To find something to like about this new show.

I tuned into the two part premiere on Sunday, March 13 with hopes for a great date, but instead I was left feeling as though I was just stood up.

John Stamos is good. I like him. He’s charming. He plays the part well. I like Wendy Malick as his boss Naomi, she could read the ingredients to ice and make it riveting. Unfortunately that’s where it ends. There are quite a few problems with “Jake in Progress.”

ABC advertised the show as, “Same city. Different sex.” Bad idea. Don’t try to make this “Sex and the City” with a dude, because it’s never going to be as good. It’ can’t be. It’s on network TV. ABC can’t get away with what HBO got away with, so don’t make it an obvious watered down version of “Sex and the City.” Which is exactly what they’ve done, right down to the exact same irritating salsa music. Boy do I hate that music. It's like a joke vaccum. Every time they try to have some "funny" moment happen, suddenly Tito Puente's Greatest Hits starts up. Does it make me want to laugh at the scene? No. Does it make me crave a margarita? Si.

Outside of Wendy Malick, I don’t like the supporting cast. Ian Gomez, who has been funny in “The Drew Carey Show” and “The Norm Show,” is wasted here as Jake’s friend Adrian. And then we have Rick Hoffman as Patrick, the ex-boyfriend of one of Jake’s ex-girlfriends, who is suddenly everywhere with Jake. Not only is the character irritating, but the dude looks creepily like Paul Mitchell, the famous hair product mogul:

The show shoots for “quirky” but instead lands on “corny.” The fast pace, the split screens, the quick dialogue, it all seems so forced to me, that it loses any “quirkiness” they were trying for.

The show has now settled in to it's regualr time slot of Thursday nights at 8:00pm. But it shouldn't get too comfortable, I predict it loses to both “Survivor” and the already declining “Joey.” Which means “Jake in Progress” will be yanked after its 13 episodes due to “No Forward Progress.”